As I was talking with someone the other night, I realized that while my college years were pretty atypical, I did get some interesting stories out of them ... just not the kinds of stories that a lot of other people got out of their college years.
First up, the perv stories.
When I first moved out of the house at 19, I took a job at a little sandwich shop in Texas known as Dino's Subs. We made 26 different sandwiches, and the first step to getting a job there was to memorize what meat/cheese combo came on the sandwich. If you couldn't get at least close to having the whole menu memorized in a day or two after getting the ingredients sheet, forget working there.
Evidently lots of pervs haunt sub shops.
The first dude was truly the creepiest one of all. "Jared" was about 300-350 pounds, sweaty -- no matter how high we had the airconditioning cranked -- and of course, he smelled as well. He usually said very little as he went through the line ... just ordered his Big D (the number 11), told us what he wanted on it, paid and that was the extent of it. Except, he usually waved Bill over to come talk to him before he left.
One day, before "Jared" had left the shop, Bill talks to him, then comes back to me with this worried look and pulls me into the back room.
"He'd like to help you get through school."
"What?"
"Don't do it. But he said he'll buy you a house and pay for everything." Bill turned a bit green.
"What's the catch? He's gotta know I'm not gonna sleep with him, right?"
Bill nodded. "He knows."
"So what's the catch?"
Bill practically whispered this: "Video cameras."
I can't even begin to describe how badly this creeped me out ... and partly because Bill who could be a bit of a perv himself, was utterly creeped out by it. Turns out "Jared" had been coming in for some months and every time he came in, he tried to get Bill to pitch this idea to me. For months, Bill had thought "Jared" was kidding with him, but evidently the last couple of trips, he'd managed to convince Bill that he was dead serious and in the process really freaked Bill out. I always got the feeling that Bill had only told me the bare bones of the story and there was probably more to it than he'd given me. But, just looking back out into the dining room and shaking my head at Jared was enough to get him to stop bugging Bill about me ... and he never did directly speak to me about his offer. Something about that made it even creepier.
I don't even wanna know what videos this guy surely made of "unsuspecting" young things.
The second perv was an American Airlines pilot who tried to impress me with all of the wonderful places he'd flown. He was more of a straighforward perv who promised to whisk me away to Paris for the weekend and still get me back to Arlington in time for my Monday morning class. Umm, no.
Oh, but Paris is so romantic ... it's beautiful ... I'll wine and dine you ... take you to the Eiffel Tower.
Umm, no.
Germany, then.
Umm, no.
But Linda's ears perked up then, her being from Dusseldorf and all ... I gladly passed off that perv to her. She, on the other hand, had a blast chatting him up about Germany and flying and beer.
Tame by college standards, I know. I have no tales of wild parties or crazy affairs ... just the oddballs that seemed to follow me no matter where I went.
Tomorrow ... the creepy Sunday school teacher ....
Until then ... what odd people did you meet in college ... or what odd propositions did you hear?
Posted by Red Monkey at February 2, 2006 4:56 AM |
Never Underestimate the Power of Human Stupidity
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I can't believe you passed up the free place to live just bacause some perv wanted to watch you do it....
;)
February 2, 2006 4:12 PMTired Tunia said:
I worked at a 16 Plus store at the mall in college. Our store and the Lane Bryant store would get the same male perv caller every once in a while. You'd answer the phone, the call would at first sound legitimate - - what size clothes did we have, etc. Then he would tell us his weight, "I weigh 175 pounds. How much do you weigh? Do you think you could overpower me?" That type of crap. The first time I answered the phone and it was him, I had not heard about him before so I was kinda freaked out. Once my manager, Sara, who was a BIG woman, said something to the effect of, sure I can overpower you, get your chicken-shit little ass in here and I'll show you. He never came in that we know of. She definitely could have kicked his butt, too bad he probably would have enjoyed it!
February 2, 2006 8:57 PMMoody Loner said:
Some of us couldn't afford college.
Well, I did hit a couple community colleges, but that's not the same.
Hey, Ender.
February 7, 2006 9:12 AM
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