Doomed
October 23, 2006

You know already that when you are going to a Catholic wedding, you're already somewhat doomed. Growing up Catholic, I can honestly say that there was nothing about the ceremony which was not designed to make you fall asleep and actually wish for the fires of hell just so you could feel something for a minute.

Well, okay, maybe that's just me.

Anyhow. So when you're going to a Catholic wedding and the priest starts out by talking about a funeral, don't you know your marriage is doomed already? "I don't normally do this, but ..." is apparently the way the priest began a marriage this weekend ... by talking about a funeral. I think I'd be looking at my bride very carefully to make sure the maggots weren't rolling around in her head.

Next clue that you're doomed: When the priest calls your wife-to-be by her full name and then you screw up the name you call her every day. Example: Do, you, Elizabeth Doolittle, take this man ... blah blah blah. Then, instead of calling her Lizzy, like you've done every day for the last five years, you suddenly call her: Beth. Nervous or not, you should at least be able to get your bride's name right, fer crying out loud!
(Names have been changed to protect the slim amount of dignity for the bride and groom.)

You know how this marriage is gonna start out? This dude thought he was getting a little something-something tonight ... instead, he's gonna get the REAL introduction to married life: the couch!

I wonder what their third strike will be.

In other news, I discovered much goodness at the BBC over the weekend ... please you should to make click here for beautiful and important movie.

And then ... check out the most awesome new restaurant in Beijing ... and that link is more safe for work consumption than it looks like when you see the title.

And I leave you with one of my favourite links of all time ... Cannot Be Displayed. It is NOT a broken link. Go look again. Sheesh, pay attention, will ya?

Oh ... and on a related note ... Area 51 may be mythical ... but this site is even better.

Posted by Red Monkey at October 23, 2006 11:30 AM | People Say I Have ADHD, But I Think - Hey Look, A Chicken | | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble |

 

Jodi said:

Heee hee Love all the links and the new rage? Ewwwwww....

Yes Catholic weddings are...well just are, I am usually askeered to go back into church. THe walls start crackling, scary...

THird strike? Hmmmm kids? j/k

October 23, 2006 11:54 AM

 

Red said:

Oh I so agree about the Catholic weddings..and with Jodi on the church thing. I don't want to cause any buildings to fall.
Thanks for the links! I always forget about the BBC, I am so lame...lol

October 23, 2006 12:29 PM

 

blueyes said:

oh my I almost always fall asleep in a catholic wedding, they are so freaking long!!

October 23, 2006 12:45 PM

 

GigglePixie said:

I once aged a year while attending a catholic wedding.

October 24, 2006 3:09 PM

 

Kyle Korleski said:

I wonder if I would do that stupid stuff when I get married to Bailey.

October 25, 2006 12:50 AM
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