Paddington Bear ARRESTED
December 8, 2007

Prime Minister Brown is set to take on illegal immigration in the U.K. and has served notice by going after one of the most loved and well-known illegal immigrants in the U.K. - Paddington Bear.

"It's an outrage!" claimed Paddington from his home West London after his initial release pending further investigation. "I was a mere cub and was forced onto the boat by my auntie. I knew nothing of immigration papers or applications."

However, a neighbor in Notting Hill recalls a gleeful young Paddington bragging about beating the system. "He was constantly laughing at me and telling me to call the Border and Immigration Agency but that it would do no good. He said he knew someone on the inside and that I was simply a cranky curry to be tossed in the bin and thought of no more."

"I may be from darkest Peru," the angry bear stated early in the day from his holding cell, "but I know this is just a ploy to boost his polls. I don't understand why the government must persecute me in this way."

The Home Office had this to say: "We are taking a robust approach to tracking down people who have no right to be here and removing them from the UK."

However, Mr. Bear's family and friends claim this is all a dark plot to paint Mr. Bear as a terrorist. "We just don't understand why the government would make these claims! Certainly his fur is a sand tan colour, but he is Peruvian, not Middle Eastern. This is racial profiling at its absolute lowest form - because it's not even based on facts, just the appearance of a different ethnicity."

Long-time friend and companion, Pooh Bear of 100 Acre Woods, declared he overheard two bobbies claiming Paddington Bear quite obviously fit the profile of a suicide bearer. "I mean, indeed!" exclaimed Mr. Pooh Bear. "Everyone is quite well aware that the phrase is suicide bomber, not bearer. This is simply gross bearism in its most heinous form."

Mr. Bear has resided at 32 Windsor Gardens, Notting Hill, west London since his arrival in the U.K. some fifty years ago.

BBC article regarding the arrest here.

Posted by Red Monkey at December 8, 2007 9:59 AM | Never Underestimate the Power of Human Stupidity | People Say I Have ADHD, But I Think - Hey Look, A Chicken | Storytelling: She was, of course, supposed to be sleeping. | | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble |

 

Free Me said:

Ha! Very cute, and very timely.

December 8, 2007 2:29 PM

 

techfun said:

I now lament the writers strike in the USA even more!

If Stephen Colbert knew about this he would be thrilled and relieved. And Paddington may have made it onto the Threat Down.

December 9, 2007 10:55 AM

 

Tara R. said:

I wonder if the U.S. will now go after Curious George and the Man in the Yellow Hat.

December 10, 2007 6:58 PM

 

Dapoppins said:

I am not sure what the heck is going on in the UK but I thought this was a very funny article. I quite enjoyed the comments from the outraged Mr. Pooh Bear.

December 11, 2007 11:42 AM

 

Airn of Tribal Wars said:

I have posted the first paragraph and title of this to a game forums with links to this site to finish the report. I hope that you have no qualms with this but (even though I support the systematic removal of those who illegally enter our countries with intention of usurping the laws or harming those present) I felt they had to be sent to read your blog on it. Clipping the first paragraph is the fastest way to get their attention; thus I did so.

If you object please let me know or sue me as you may have fun bleeding a turnip. OK being mildly humorous as that rule of giving credit was followed the minute I linked your site and suing would likely not work anyway even if I was well enough off to settle the bill.

Thanks the way you posted it is much better than I could have done and your site is first class aesthetically.

December 17, 2007 5:21 AM
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