I have a good friend who refers to "the chatter in the matter" to reflect those internal conversations ... or those internal voices that never seem to shut up. You know the ones, they have a comment on every other driver on the road ... about the co-worker who is just NOT doing things right ... about why you screwed up that drawing or that conversation ... about all the things you've done wrong ... the list goes on and on. Sometimes the chatter in the matter is positive, sometimes negative, sometimes catty, bratty or silly.
Mine have been amazingly silent for the last week or two. I have seen news stories that were important, but I've had nothing to add to the conversations. I've had events happen, but talking about them just wasn't necessary. The minutiae of life has been just that ... minutiae. My partner's hand surgery is Wednesday ... but that's a routine thing. My sister hasn't had her baby just yet and is hoping to last out about two weeks until her students' concerts are over.
I've been working diligently on Cheese Circles, but I don't want to post any other teasers until I've finished the book. (It's just half done right now ... 18 pages doesn't sound like a lot until you start drawing full pages!) Most of the memoir pieces I do are also commentary on some kind of current event or issue. So even that has been relatively quiet at the moment. Nothing even vaguely amusing nor humourous has really happened.
But the thing is silence is good. We fill our moments with television and radio and meaningless words to continue a conversation best left unsaid ... even the "noise" of reading a book or a magazine ... or surfing the web with words and images and video and sound ... but how often do we sit in the silence and simply be, grounding our selves with our selves and our surroundings?
Today during church, a developmentally challenged young person had his cell phone ring just as we were beginning our time of silent prayer. He was mortified, went out into the hall and tried to dispatch the person who'd called. He was furious as well. All of his friends know not to call him during church time. He doesn't know how to turn his phone off and on. He came back in, everyone had gathered themselves and prepared once again for silent prayers and then the prayers for the community. His phone went off again. Confused, hurt and knowing that people were upset with him, his first instinct was to ignore the phone. It wasn't his fault it was going off. All of his friends know not to call him during church time. Finally, he stood up and moved to the door. I followed him out this time, made sure he was not right next to the sanctuary door (he talks loudly).
"Do you know how to turn your phone off?"
He shook his head and began telling me that someone he didn't know had been calling him repeatedly. He handed me the phone. I turned it off for him and showed him how I did it. Too upset and scared to deal with this embarrassment any further, he thrust his phone at me. I think he was scared that with his luck today, even with it off, it would find a way to sound once again.
When we got back inside the sanctuary, the prayers of the people were over and I was disappointed. I had wanted to say something about my partner's upcoming hand surgery, but the time had passed.
I'd missed both my moment of silence and a chance to express a concern all with one fell blow.
But you know, I can create my own moments of silence ... I can choose to unplug everything and relax ... be still ... and just be ... to mine the caverns within and retain and maintain balance. And helping everyone else find their moment of silence by helping that young man ... helping him find a moment of relief and balance ... that was well worth sacrificing that one moment of silence for me. I'm pretty adept at finding my moments of silence and time to balance ... at least I have been excellent at finding that space in the last six months or so ... we won't talk about the difficulties of the last year! lol
So don't fret about the silence here. There's more percolating below the surface. But for now, when was your last moment of silent contemplation?
Posted by Red Monkey at January 13, 2008 6:25 PM | | 
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I really enjoyed this post because I took something away from it. I cannot remember my last silent moment. I need to find time to circle back and find that time. This post was a great reminder..
I hope your partner's has a speedy recovery from surgery on Wed.
January 14, 2008 3:28 PMnewnorth said:
my mind always finds time for silent contemplation. Especially while I'm driving. I wonder if that's safe.
January 14, 2008 8:23 PMJoe said:
Hmmm? My last time I had silent contemplation? I think that is when I was writing a sample chapter for my book project about 3 weeks ago...sigh. I need more of that.
January 15, 2008 9:58 AMSydney said:
this reminds me of one of the many times I accompanied my mother to one of her classes when she was a graduate student. She took a course on ethnic diversity or something similar, and I just so happened to have come with her when they were discussing the importance of silence to many native american tribes, and how their views on silence differ from western views (i.e. awkwardness, something is wrong, people are uncomfortable, silence is not productive, etc.)
It was the first time I had ever thought of silence in a positive light.
I for one, feel very comfortable when it is silent. I don't feel as though something is wrong when I am with friends and we're just sitting there - not saying anything or watching/listening to anything. I always thought that was what people meant when they told each other they enjoyed one another's company - that they liked existing in close proximity with one another, but as i grew older I realized that it makes many people feel uncomfortable and as though they aren't really connecting with people. they want to go to mall and look at things. go to the movies. go clubbing. Eh...
January 18, 2008 4:50 PMMark Stoneman said:
Sometimes I get my silence by allowing myself to not read and not think on the bus or train.
It's tricky with cell phones, but I have legs and can move if something is really obnoxious.
January 18, 2008 11:57 PM
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Kim said: