The Lost Island
July 23, 2008

There is nothing worse than losing my religion your identity, just not knowing who you are and where you're from. Sadly, in Greece, there's a whole frigging island which finds themselves adrift in the sea of just such gender identity uncertainty, swept away by the careless tides of the ever-changing language that is English.

Throughout the United States, of course, lesbians (note the little "l") are known for their causes, but in Greece, Lesbians are ticked off about their Cause. Not saving stray cats. Not gay marriage. Not even a quibble over the fact that Queer As Folk was obviously superior to The L Word. No, these Lesbians hold a sign which boldly reads, "SILENT NO MORE ... If you are not from Lesbos, you are not a lesbian." (article)

That's right, these people actually want to be Lesbians.

Frankly, I think they're obviously disordered and we should fear for the sheep population there. I mean really. They sound like deviants. Wanting to be Lesbians. Imagine!

Apparently the Lesbians took the Gay and Lesbian Union of Greece to court, demanding that they relinquish the word lesbian from the deviant grasp of the lesb - umm, womyn who love womyn. Because the Lesbians don't think the lesbians are Lesbians and apparently they want to protect their good name.

Alas. Surprisingly, the Greek courts told the Lesbians to shut up and pay the court fees. You know lesbians work in social justice fields for their Causes and so of course, they don't have much money. But apparently the Lesbians lost to the lesbians and have to pay the court fees. The Lesbians, however, are still pissed about this. You see, many feel that the lesbians are causing "daily problems to the social life of Lesbos's inhabitants," also known as Lesbians.

Let me summarize. The Lesbians are mad that people the world over call some women lesbians and not everyone calls the Lesbians Lesbians. Plus they're mad because apparently being called Lesbians or lesbians is confusing the sexuality of the Lesbians on Lesbos. I mean, if someone called you a Lesbian, how would you know they weren't calling you a lesbian? I mean, this is a human rights violation here, here right? Calling Lesbians lesbians and women in sensible shoes. I mean, it's just Darfur all over again. (Seriously, one of the dudes bringing the case to Greek court really did call it a human rights violation.)

We all know that lesbians are great with their causes. I think if the Lesbians would just play their cards right, they could hire some lesbian social workers and ACLU lawyers to lay the smackdown so the Lesbians can take back the night their name. I mean, how can you have a national identity when some flannel-shirted redneck just ups and yanks the word away from you just to use it as a pejorative to a couple of women who don't wear make-up or heels. (Except the lipstick lesbians. You know who you are. You're blowing it for everybody. Wait. That came out wrong.)

However, "an Athens court ruled there was no justification for [the Lesbians'] contention that they felt slighted, saying the word did not define the islanders' identity."

Those poor, poor, islanders. Even with a man "spearheading" the movement (and wow, but i'm not touching that quote from the BBC with a ten foot ... umm ... spear), the Lesbians lost to the lesbians.

What's in a name, after all?

Posted by Red Monkey at July 23, 2008 3:09 AM | Never Underestimate the Power of Human Stupidity | | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble |

 

r.e.wolf said:

Thank you for an excellent laugh this morning!

July 23, 2008 7:04 AM

 

Tara R. said:

Now my head hurts. Too much alliteration, too early in the morning.

July 23, 2008 11:40 AM

 

Dawn said:

Lovely post on this. I'm forwarding it to friends :)

July 23, 2008 8:06 PM

 

bloggernoob said:

here i was thinking that it was a serious post about homosexuality. haha. great writing. had a nice giggle thanks to you.

July 23, 2008 8:34 PM

So when my nephew says, "Hey, Uncle Pete, where do lesbians come from?" I can say, "Big L or little l?"

July 23, 2008 9:46 PM

 

Jackal said:

LOL @ Pontchartrain.

July 25, 2008 9:52 AM

 

Jay said:

I think we should just call them Greek and be done with it. LOL! Seriously? I feel sorry for them, but what can we do?

I once knew a woman called Gay, and she was stuck with it too. Luckily, she was ... um ... feisty, i think the word is. No-one would have called her sexuality into question and lived long. And if they did live they'd have wished they hadn't.

July 25, 2008 7:49 PM

 

trysh said:

Came here to thank you for your comment on my blog - and ended up reading and laughing over yours!

So...thank you and thank you! For the comment and for your post!

July 26, 2008 11:46 AM

 

Nancy said:

Oh that was hilarious , hon. I should remember to check here more often. I was thinking tho, if they came from Lesbos, wouldnt they be..Lesbonians?

August 7, 2008 7:27 PM

 

Mling said:

Through an odd quirk of google, I just stumbled on your site. This is the first post of yours that I have read, and I think I love you.

August 17, 2008 10:36 PM
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