October 14, 2008

The Writing Paradox

Despite the fact that English was one of my favourite school subjects, that I taught college writing classes for nine years, that I've had a blog for a bit over 3 years ... I shocked some friends last week by announcing that I hate writing and would not like to make a career in copywriting. (Oddly enough, technical writing is more interesting.)

I hated writing essays in school, and I think that was one of the things that made me an excellent writing teacher. I remembered where I used to get hung up, frustrated and what caused me to pull my hair out - and I did my damnedest to help my students find ways around those problems - or through them in a less painful manner.

The writing I enjoy is the writing I do for myself. This blog, the large directory on my hard drive called "Thinking" and writing stories.

I confused the hell out of who knows how many teachers in elementary school who knew how creative I could be ... until a creative writing assignment came up. One teacher told me years later that my first creative writing assignment for her just shocked her. Instead of the involved and creative story she had suspected I would write ... she got a typical elementary school paragraph of blah.

I just laughed ... there's a huge difference between making up your very own story ... and being given a paragraph of "starter story" and told to finish it.

It's the same in copywriting. There's a huge difference between writing a novel about a comic book writer and a video game developer who become self-appointed agents of karma ... and cobbling together the disparate ideas of the president and vice president of a start-up company (who, by the way, each has a different idea about the company's direction - president wants to market to average joe and veep wants to market to the already converted & knowledgeable audience).

Later on in elementary school, our language arts teachers began to give us more leeway on picking what to write about and only used writing prompts when we got stuck. My favourite project was also one that got me into the most trouble.

In sixth grade, I had Miss Bailey - the teacher we all loved and adored. (At the time, years later was a different story.) Every Thursday was creative writing day. But one week, on a Monday or Tuesday, she gathered us around for a new creative writing assignment.

"Since I will be gone on Thursday, I'm giving you your creative writing assignment now."

With those words, my fate was sealed.

You see, I was determined to do everything "right."

She went on, describing the project, which was due on Friday as usual. We'd have our standard amount of class time to work on it Thursday and a bit of bonus time to work on it the day she assigned it because it was a bigger assignment than normal.

We spent the next little while searching through newspapers for an article - we were to use the article we selected to write a "book" with at least two or three illustrations. I was excited - and I settled on a story about a plane crash. (What can I say, tragedy always makes for a great story! Actually, all of my early stories were about tragedy befalling kids - and kids pulling out of it despite the incompetent adults around them. But that's another story for another day.)

I dutifully cut out the article like we were told. I worked on the project during the time allotted on Monday. And then I didn't work on it again until Thursday's class. Now, I suddenly had to write a story, re-write it onto my booklet paper, illustrate it - and because I was as interested in realism and crafts as possible, create a cover cut from posterboard and then freaking SEW the thing together. (My idea. Damn over-achiever.)

Yeah, I didn't get close to finished in class. And so many of my friends told me they'd been working on it since it was assigned on Monday. I was shocked.

Thursday was creative writing day. Not Monday. Not Tuesday. They were all cheating! They started EARLY! That was cheating!

I was horrified.

I was even more depressed that evening as I stayed up later than ever before, frantically trying to complete the project to the specifications I had set myself. My mom asked why I hadn't started the project earlier in the week and I responded that we'd been assigned the project on Thursday and it was due Friday. It wasn't a lie - it was how I'd interpreted the week, since Miss Bailey claimed we were getting the assignment on Monday since she wouldn't be there Thursday.

I thought that like most teachers, she simply didn't think the substitute teacher would be able to explain the assignment adequately and address our questions. Hence, she gave us the assignment early, but we were not to start until Thursday as usual.

My mother was rather irked at Miss Bailey for assigning such a project in such a short amount of time.

And, when I was dragging and sleepy the next day, Miss Bailey asked what was wrong. I explained that I'd stayed up late - and confessed that mom was upset with me for staying up late and had asked why I hadn't started the assignment sooner. When I then added that we'd been given the assignment on Thursday and it was due Friday - Miss Bailey gave me that terribly disappointed look and tone as she said my name. We didn't speak of it further.

I was terribly confused and hurt.

I had done everything exactly right according to the rules and I had still gotten "in trouble" for doing things wrong. Everyone else in the class had cheated by starting early and here I was the one getting fussed at.

Today, were I taking a class where this happened, I would still assume the same thing. But, I would now ask the teacher "are we supposed to start on it now or on Thursday?"

I suppose this is another example of "rigid thinking." Despite the fact that I'm creative and very much a think-outside-the-box kind of person most of the time, there's a certain rigidity of thought that creeps into my life in strange ways. It's the same rigidity of thought which caused me to not study for the SAT exams - the SAT was supposed to measure what you already knew ... therefore, studying was cheating. Yeah, I know. I'm a dork.

Oh and the novel about the comic book writer and video game developer who become self-appointed agents of karma? Yeah, I've been working on that sucker since '04, so no stealing my grand concept, k?

Posted by Red Monkey at 5:19 AM | Comments (2) | Never Underestimate the Power of Human Stupidity | Storytelling: She was, of course, supposed to be sleeping. | Why Johnny Won't Learn and Mrs. Curnutt Is Tired of the System | Stumble

October 9, 2008

It Ain't About the Cash

This is not, despite what it will seem like at first, a political post about McCain - it's about artists' rights management.

As an artist and writer, I've been highly surprised by the amount of - for now let's call it copyright infringement - by the McCain campaign. (Obama's campaign, apparently is not completely innocent, but it's only happened once that I've heard of.)

I first heard about this issue much earlier this year when John Mellencamp asked McCain to stop using his music at McCain rallies. It stuck in my head because it seemed 1) stupid for McCain's campaign to use music without permission and 2) particularly stupid for McCain's people to use John Mellencamp's music. I can't imagine Mellencamp backing McCain.

Later, we all heard about the use of the song "Barracuda" during the Republican National Convention and Heart members requesting that the McCain campaign not use their song. Jackson Browne actually filed a lawsuit claiming damages agains the McCain campaign for using his song, "Running on Empty." Now the Foo Fighters are livid over the McCain campaign using their song "Our Country."

Either the McCain campaign doesn't give a rat's ass about copyright law or ... something else is going on.

I suspect it's something else. It's happened too many times and been too public ... and not a little embarrassing ... for this to be completely intentional flouting of copyright.

I suspect it's the method in which performance licensing is sold.

Check this out - bmi.com - go on, I'll wait. Leave it open a sec and check out that bottom area of the site. The grey box down there at the bottom. The second column there says Licensing. And the first entry under that is "Need a license?"

Ahhh, I bet our problem lies here. In fact, you might just look at this as well.

You see, if you want to use a particular recording artist's music, you don't go talk to his people. You start with a company like BMI. (Commenter R.E. Wolf points out that ASCAP is the other one - thanks, I can't believe I forgot that one.) You go apply for a license, pay the fee - and BMI pays the artist.

It works great most of the time.

Until you as the artist discover your work being used to represent or endorse someone or something you disagree with.

My guess is that the artists and the McCain campaign have fallen victim to a system which has grown too large and complacent to adequately represent its artists' needs any more. Either big-name groups like Foo Fighters, John Mellencamp, Heart and Jackson Browne simply get too many requests for performance rights for BMI or ASCAP to do more than rubber stamp requests which pay up in full without the artist even knowing who bought the rights - or perhaps these artists are not following up on the paperwork quickly enough to realize that the rights have been sold to someone they don't want having the rights.

To me, this is another reason why getting too big is just not a good thing. Sure, we tend to think bigger is better (I'm from Texas, remember), but having a lot doesn't mean you have a lot of quality. Just look at how many burgers McDonald's has sold. Loads of quantity, crap for quality. Sure, they have made loads of money ... but they've also helped lower our expectations for good and healthy food. (Yes, we are still ultimately responsible for what we choose to put into our bodies - Mickey-D's has not forced us to become fat and unhealthy.)

Having the most does not mean we win. And I think we're seeing that culture of greed play out in the stock market and the mortgage market right now.

When I bought my car three years ago, Capital One offered me a loan of up to $29,000 for a new car. Great good gods, people, I could not afford the car payment on $29,000! That's a freaking small HOUSE! (Okay, a small house in a depressed area, but still.) Instead, I sat down and figured out what I could make as a car payment and then figured out how much money that meant I could borrow.

If I had taken them up on the full amount of that loan, I would be car-less now. I have been able to meet all of my bills despite losing my job 15 months ago. A $29,000 car would have been repossessed by now. The loaner would have lost money because they offered me far more than I could afford. Yes, they stood to make more money by offering me more - more interest for them.

But that's what I mean ... it's not smart to offer someone a loan they probably can't pay back. It might pay off big, but likely it will blow up in your face instead.

And, it's not smart for any licensing company to sell the rights to pieces to any political campaign or a group involved with a controversial issue without first checking with the artist - even if that's not SOP for the average Joe. It's not about the cash.

It's about being ethical.

Posted by Red Monkey at 11:21 AM | Comments (4) | Never Underestimate the Power of Human Stupidity | Stumble

September 17, 2008

MixED meSSaGe

The scene:
You're back in fourth grade again. Ten years old. Good kid, never been in trouble before ... but your pencil sharpener breaks one evening at home. Knowing you'll need to sharpen your pencil tomorrow, you shove the pieces back in your pencilbox and don't think much of it.

School the next day, sure enough, your stupid pencil lead breaks. You pull out the broken pencil sharpener - which at this point, is essentially, a small razor blade.

End result?

Suspension "for at least two days and [he] could face further disciplinary action."
District spokesman Randy Wall said "We're always going to do something to make sure the child understands the seriousness of having something that could potentially harm another student, but we're going to be reasonable."

Original Story
The school's letter

There is a very fine balance between encouraging kids to learn and bashing them over the head with lead pipes. Most of our school districts are doing a crappy job of managing this balance. We have school districts like Dallas who are teaching our students that paying attention to the rules doesn't matter. After all, if the teacher says your homework is due Tuesday, you no longer get a zero for not turning it in - you get to turn it in for credit at any time.

And then we have these ridiculous zero tolerance policies which mean that a broken pencil sharpener - admittedly this is a blade now - means a two day suspension.

This reminds me of reading Robert Heinlein's Starship Troopers (NO, NOT like the movie). In one of the many "lectures" throughout the book, a teacher talks about how the twentieth century dealt with "juvenile delinquents" - and compared the method to housebreaking a dog. The character claimed that the juvenile justice system was akin to sometimes telling the dog, "naughty puppy," when he messed in the house ... sometimes saying nothing ... sometimes cuddling the dog ... sometimes locking the dog up for a while. Then, when the dog was an adult and peed in the house, taking the dog out back and shooting him.

There's a bit of truth in that description. Some kids get millions of second chances as a juvenile (oh, you can turn your homework in later ... oh, she's a good kid, we'll let "it" slide this time). Others get no chances and are locked up, where, we know from plenty of criminal justice research, they simply learn better ways to commit crimes and rarely get the chance to become "good, upstanding citizens." Then, suddenly they're introduced to the adult system.

And when I think of the mixed messages we are sending by "bolstering students' self-esteem" by not "allowing" them to fail ... and the suspension of a ten year old for not realizing that the blade from his busted piece of plastic pencil sharpener was an "illegal" blade ... I have to wonder what the hell it is we're doing to these kids.

Of course I don't want any kids thinking it's a good thing to bring razor blades to school. But you have to treat these things according to the particular situation. It's subjective, not an absolute, computer driven if/then proposition.

Life is NOT an if/then proposition. It's messy. It is often unfair and I don't think that we ever get it completely, totally, consistently right.

But we have to keep trying, keep thinking of ways to improve upon what we have.

Frankly, a ten-year-old boy who has never been in trouble before and who bursts into tears when the gravity of his situation is suddenly slammed home is probably not a kid who needs suspension and counseling. He bears further watching by the teachers - let's make sure this isn't an early start to a pattern of trying to slip things past the rules. Make him write a paper on what he did wrong and what he should have done.

If we're talking a ten-year-old who often opposes the teachers, who defies authority, who has been known to be aggressive or angry (as a pattern, not as an occasional situation) to her peers ... well, then we need some kind of intervention.

We have a serious problem in our schools across the United States. Too lax in some areas, rules too rigid in others ... I'm afraid the mixed messages we're sending these kids are going to haunt us for generations to come as they realize that deadlines do matter, that all actions have some kind of consequences ... and as they become angry with us for not giving them chances when they needed them and for being too lax when they needed structure.

Our teachers are too overworked, too pressured, to make the difference that so many of them thought they would make. Low pay, long hours and too many hassles with school officials who are too concerned about schools looking good so the district can score more federal funds ... administrators who have forgotten what it's like to sit in the classroom and don't connect with the children in their schools ... schools so large that children slip through the cracks like water through a sieve.

Really, it's amazing that we have any people who stick with teaching for more than a couple of years. I mean, we tell them that the work they are doing is the most important work - and yet we pay them one of the lowest professional salaries (same as with cops and firefighters). Then, we give the power to the parents and the students and distrust "them there ivory tower teacher types" when they dare to exert their professional opinions.

Is it any wonder some teachers would like to drug our kids into submission? Is it any wonder they prefer to develop absolute rules and zero tolerance policies so they can try to cram as many through the system as possible and still escape with some shred of energy for themselves?

Yeah. I gotta wonder. What messages are we sending our children?

Posted by Red Monkey at 12:11 AM | Comments (3) | Never Underestimate the Power of Human Stupidity | Why Johnny Won't Learn and Mrs. Curnutt Is Tired of the System | Stumble

September 13, 2008

It's Official - Ike & Tina Are Back Together

More news outlets should really take a good look at their homepages ....

Posted by Red Monkey at 12:39 AM | Comments (4) | Never Underestimate the Power of Human Stupidity | Stumble

September 12, 2008

But Officer, We're Gonna Be Late for SCHOOL!

It's true.

A 17 year old female student in the Crown Point school system (around the Merrillville, Indiana area) was just DESPERATE to get to school Wednesday morning.

At 6:30 a.m.

You see, Tuesday night was a big deal but Wednesday morning was important too. So ... we'll call her Natalie ... and her three male buddies had to go out Tuesday night and blow off some steam. And, of course, get drunk off their arses. Okay, so I don't know they got drunk off their arses, but considering that they were still testing positive for alcohol at 6:30 a.m., I feel reasonably certain that there was some overindulgence going on.

So, Natalie decides to rush everyone home so that they can all get ready to go to school. School is important you know.

She was clocked at 117 miles an hour.

So she could get to school on time.

And the sad thing is, I can somehow just feel that intoxicated "but we HAVE to be at school on time" obsession and panic. I can even just hear young Miss Natalie trying to explain to the ociffer that they were going to be LATE and they couldn't be LATE, I mean, this is SCHOOL and we're gonna get in trouble if we're LATE.

Inebriated and driving 117 miles an hour.

At 17 years of age.

And university presidents want to lower the drinking age.

Great googly moogly WHAT are they thinking??

The problem with the drinking age is not that it's 21. It's not that it's not 18.

The problem is a culture of over-indulgence and a refusal to comprehend moderation in anything. I mean, do we really need to ban fast food? No. We need to learn moderation - it's great to pick up a fast meal every once in a while. It won't destroy your body if you do it every once in a while.

But as a culture, that's not really how we do things. We're an all or nothing, zero tolerance policy, laissez-faire kinda culture.

There is something to the fact that cultures which don't demonize the rum have fewer young people who go hog-wild with firewater in college and binge drink. But if we bump it down to 18, we're just pushing the problem down a few years, not getting rid of the problem.

Next thing you know, we'll be teaching junior high classes in flavoured vodka and rum appreciation - just to make sure that the kiddies can handle their liquor quicker than they can now.

And you thought teaching kids about sex was a naughty thing for a school to do!

Posted by Red Monkey at 4:18 AM | Comments (3) | Never Underestimate the Power of Human Stupidity | People Say I Have ADHD, But I Think - Hey Look, A Chicken | Stumble

July 23, 2008

The Lost Island

There is nothing worse than losing my religion your identity, just not knowing who you are and where you're from. Sadly, in Greece, there's a whole frigging island which finds themselves adrift in the sea of just such gender identity uncertainty, swept away by the careless tides of the ever-changing language that is English.

Throughout the United States, of course, lesbians (note the little "l") are known for their causes, but in Greece, Lesbians are ticked off about their Cause. Not saving stray cats. Not gay marriage. Not even a quibble over the fact that Queer As Folk was obviously superior to The L Word. No, these Lesbians hold a sign which boldly reads, "SILENT NO MORE ... If you are not from Lesbos, you are not a lesbian." (article)

That's right, these people actually want to be Lesbians.

Frankly, I think they're obviously disordered and we should fear for the sheep population there. I mean really. They sound like deviants. Wanting to be Lesbians. Imagine!

Apparently the Lesbians took the Gay and Lesbian Union of Greece to court, demanding that they relinquish the word lesbian from the deviant grasp of the lesb - umm, womyn who love womyn. Because the Lesbians don't think the lesbians are Lesbians and apparently they want to protect their good name.

Alas. Surprisingly, the Greek courts told the Lesbians to shut up and pay the court fees. You know lesbians work in social justice fields for their Causes and so of course, they don't have much money. But apparently the Lesbians lost to the lesbians and have to pay the court fees. The Lesbians, however, are still pissed about this. You see, many feel that the lesbians are causing "daily problems to the social life of Lesbos's inhabitants," also known as Lesbians.

Let me summarize. The Lesbians are mad that people the world over call some women lesbians and not everyone calls the Lesbians Lesbians. Plus they're mad because apparently being called Lesbians or lesbians is confusing the sexuality of the Lesbians on Lesbos. I mean, if someone called you a Lesbian, how would you know they weren't calling you a lesbian? I mean, this is a human rights violation here, here right? Calling Lesbians lesbians and women in sensible shoes. I mean, it's just Darfur all over again. (Seriously, one of the dudes bringing the case to Greek court really did call it a human rights violation.)

We all know that lesbians are great with their causes. I think if the Lesbians would just play their cards right, they could hire some lesbian social workers and ACLU lawyers to lay the smackdown so the Lesbians can take back the night their name. I mean, how can you have a national identity when some flannel-shirted redneck just ups and yanks the word away from you just to use it as a pejorative to a couple of women who don't wear make-up or heels. (Except the lipstick lesbians. You know who you are. You're blowing it for everybody. Wait. That came out wrong.)

However, "an Athens court ruled there was no justification for [the Lesbians'] contention that they felt slighted, saying the word did not define the islanders' identity."

Those poor, poor, islanders. Even with a man "spearheading" the movement (and wow, but i'm not touching that quote from the BBC with a ten foot ... umm ... spear), the Lesbians lost to the lesbians.

What's in a name, after all?

Posted by Red Monkey at 3:09 AM | Comments (10) | Never Underestimate the Power of Human Stupidity | Stumble