August 31, 2006

Oh, I See

I was born in Amarillo, Texas. Then we moved to Houston. Another place in Houston. Then Albuquerque, New Mexico. Then, off to Oklahoma City. Then Carmel, Indiana. Austin, Texas. Then I started kindergarten. Some of you regular readers and obsessive archive perusers know the litany of places I've lived already. In addition to that, I started elementary school at Pillow in Austin ... then was transferred to St. Louis, which I hate hate hated, and went back Pillow ... for the first six weeks of third grade. Then we moved to Arlington, Texas, where I finished elementary school (that was elementary school #3, for those keeping score). Instead of 6 semesters at the local junior high, I had 3 at one school and 3 at another. The only school I stayed at all the way through to completion was high school ... and my father announced one day that we'd be moving to Singapore. Luckily Mom refused, which saved me from having to figure out how to become an emancipated minor or the best way to run away.

Ooops ... that wasn't the point of this post. I told you all that just to point out that my mom's parents also lived in Oklahoma City for most of my childhood, eventually moving to Tallequah, Oklahoma for their "retirement" home. (Well, okay, if you know the Tenkiller area, they technically lived in Cookson, which at the time was nothing more than a couple of houses and a post office ... in fact, I'm not sure that there's much more to it than that now.) At any rate ... it's an ADHD kind of day, can you tell? I feel sorry for the guys I work with today. Maybe I'll get really into a project and calm down soon. Anyway, I was really excited when my grandparents moved to Lake Tenkiller, because, well, it was a LAKE.

So, probably the first summer they lived there, I got to spend a big chunk of my summer with my grandparents. Naturally, they were a little unsure exactly how to keep a 13 year old (almost 14!) occupied for the entire summer, so they enlisted the aid of the local youth group at their church.

After working on the house of some elderly members of the church for a couple of days, we all went out to the lake for a picnic and swim. Naturally with teens of that age, we separated into a group of boys and a group of girls. The boys, being completely unsure how to show their feelings, decided to let us know of their undying interest in us (at least until a cool car drove past) by throwing rocks at us. Well, they were trying to see who could throw a rock the closest to us without actually hitting us. Kind of like a game of pitching pennies on the stoop.

Also, they were trying to see if they could annoy us and who would move away first.

Being the stubborn little shi- err, twerp, that I was, I insisted that we hold our ground. Err, hold our water? Hmm. At any rate, I insisted that we were going to stay put.

That was when it happened.

I looked up and over at the boys. One of them looked a bit panicked. I wondered why. Briefly.

Then my eye hurt like hell.

Yup, the inevitable had happened, and I got nailed just barely above the eyeball. Everyone flew everywhere. The boy who'd hit me was horrified. We rushed back up to the picnic tables and one of the nuns (yes, nuns ... another time I'll have to tell you about being in the van with the nuns ... frightening!), one of the nuns handed me ice to put on the eye.

Slowly my vision in my right eye, my good eye prior to this accident, was turning white. Before long, the stolen moments of opening the eye and sneaking a peek confirmed it. Everything was like some thick, fluffy white cloud through which my vision could not penetrate. I sighed. Apparently I was going to lose the vision in that eye. I was hoping that it was simply the ice on the optic nerve causing my vision to essentially freeze, but I didn't want to get my hopes up. I began preparing myself for the worst. And that meant preparing myself for telling my mother how I had been so careless as to lose the vision in my right eye. Because, of course, this happened the one week she was visiting her folks.

Well, as it turned out, I was "in trouble" for being so careless as to get hit above the eye, but my vision was ultimately unharmed. The ice, had indeed, been depressing the optic nerve and froze my vision temporarily. Examining the tiny cut in the mirror, though, showed just how incredibly, amazingly lucky I had been. Literally a millimeter or two lower and the small rock probably would have popped the eye out of the socket or at the very least, damaged the eyeball itself.

A week or two later, when I returned home from my summer at grandma's, Mom took me in to see the doctor and have this near-eye injury examined. (Yes, really, a week later before I saw a doctor.) He confirmed that it had been a very near thing and he asked me to tell him what happened.

"I got hit in the rock by an eye," I rattled off.

He blinked. Tried to decide if he was concerned or going to laugh. "What happened to you?"

"I got hit in the rock by an eye." I decided he didn't hear me clearly the first time.

He smiled a little. "I don't think that's what happened to you."

Some part of me utterly panicked at this point. What the hell was wrong with this dude??? "I got hit in the rock by an eye!"

He turned to my mother and gave a little grin. "What happened to her?"

Mom was utterly puzzled. "She got hit in the rock by an eye."

At this point he must have decided that it was genetic instead of a concussion. "I don't think that's quite how it happened. I think," he turned back to me, "you got hit in the eye by a rock."

"That's what I said, I got hit in the rock by an eye!"

He chuckled.

It wasn't until Mom and I returned to the car and were talking about what the bleeding hell was wrong with this doctor that we caught the problem that you've already seen.

Oh. Oh yeah. Umm. Sure. I got hit in the EYE by a ROCK.

Good grief.

Posted by Red Monkey at 5:04 AM | Comments (2) | People Say I Have ADHD, But I Think - Hey Look, A Chicken | TrackBack | Stumble

August 14, 2006

The Big Cheese

Via YouTube, of course.

I dunno if this'll work ... it's nearly 9 minutes long and I've yet to see it download all the way ... but I thought I'd try anyhow.

UPDATE: I did get it to load ... it just takes a long freaking time. And here's part two ... because it's a GREAT episode:

Posted by Red Monkey at 9:06 AM | Comments (0) | People Say I Have ADHD, But I Think - Hey Look, A Chicken | TrackBack | Stumble

August 13, 2006

CHEESE!!!!!!

I love Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. Cheese rules. And I think the animators are having far too much fun with Cheese. Far too much.

Episode 47 rocks. "The Big Cheese." If you have not watched this cartoon ... you are missing the best in television entertainment.

I need every episode on DVD. Like yesterday. Anyone know where to get it?????

Posted by Red Monkey at 5:14 PM | Comments (0) | People Say I Have ADHD, But I Think - Hey Look, A Chicken | TrackBack | Stumble

Little Red Monkee

OMFG

No, really. I know that phrase is overused on the internets. But I've seen people hit my site while looking for "monkey animation" and "dancing monkey animation" and couldn't quite figure out why they thought Red Monkey blog might be what they were looking for. After reading the archives at { decadently } (which I highly recommend ... excellent read), I discovered MonkeeHub. Which led me to:

And while the Little Red Monkee isn't actually a red monkey, at least I know why people are hitting my site looking for it. And now ... here it is ... you're one link closer to it.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE ....
The OMFG wasn't really for the Little Red Monkee cuz, well, that's just a basic Flash animation piece. (Sorry, but I didn't dig it that much.) The real discovery from { decadently } was learning about this music video:

And I was so impressed with the animation style, that I then discovered another video from MonkeeHub.

And I was so tickled with THAT video that I had to download the album from iTunes. Awesome.

Now I think I'm going to go sketch for a while and daydream about creating my own cartoons again. I'm determined to have my own animation done for next year's Nick and Cartoon Network contests. Where's the freaking ActionScript book now?

Posted by Red Monkey at 11:48 AM | Comments (4) | People Say I Have ADHD, But I Think - Hey Look, A Chicken | TrackBack | Stumble

August 11, 2006

Mr. Gas Masher Guy

And now for some good old-fashioned fun and parody. (And many thanks to each one of you who commented on my last post.)

For my good buddy, Smash, who is one crazy dude.

Mr. Gas Masher Guy
(sung to "American Pie")

A long, long time ago, I can still remember how
His s used to make us smile
And I knew that in a flash
He could make the shoutbox laugh
And maybe we'd be happy for a while

But his gas mashin' made us nervous
We'd turn on e'ry news service
We'd joke around at Blogmad
But you could tell, we were all scar'd

We all recalled how TheMoo cried
When we finally heard that he'd died
Yes, something touched us deep inside
The day ... the convo ... died

So, bye bye, Mr. Gas Masher Guy
Drove his Chevy to the levee and there he did die
Them good ole boys were drinking Stella all night
Singing this'll be the day that he dies
This'll be the day that he dies.

Well, did you write the book of speed
And do you have faith your brakes won't bleed
If the cylinder stays intact
Do you believe in ROCK N ROLL
Can Slayer save your mortal soul
And can you teach me how to slam dance?

Well I know that he's in love with speed
Cuz I saw him racing out in Leeds
He blasted past those blues
Just watch those bobbies lose

He was a crazy teenage scouser dude
WIth a black bike jacket and a big qualuude
But nothing helped that rocker's 'tude
The day ... the convo ... died

Bye bye, Mr. Gas Masher Guy
Drove his Chevy to the levee and there he did die
Them good ole boys were drinking Stella all night
Singing this'll be the day that he dies
This'll be the day that he dies.

Now for 10 minutes, we've been on our own
And a shoutbox dies when it's all alone
But that's not how it used to be

There we were all in Blogmad
A group of Bloggers lost in space
None of us able to log in
So come on, Smash be nimble, Smash be quick
Smash Flash sat in the driver's seat
Cuz speed is the devil's only friend

As we watched him go along the moor
Our faces said his speed we abhorred
No angel born in hell
Could warn him 'fore he fell

And as the explosion ROCKED the night
We all stumbled at the site
Cuz Big Al was laughing in his spite
The day ... the convo ... died

I met a man who mashed the gas
And I asked him for some belly laughs
But he just stepped back in the car

I went down to the Mustang store
Where we'd seen our Smash in days of yore
But the man there said the speed was now sub-par

And in the streets, the children screamed
The lovers cried and the poets dreamed
But not a car was revved up
The bobbies had all turned up

And the three dudes I admire most
Gas Masher, Big Al and Manic
They're all gone in a panic
The day ... the convo ... died

They were singin'

Bye bye, Mr. Gas Masher Guy
Drove his Chevy to the levee and there he did die
Them good ole boys were drinking Stella all night
Singing this'll be the day that he dies
This'll be the day that he dies.

Posted by Red Monkey at 6:20 AM | Comments (3) | People Say I Have ADHD, But I Think - Hey Look, A Chicken | TrackBack | Stumble

August 6, 2006

Diversion

I am completely addicted to Monkey Kick. It's insane that a game this simple can keep me occupied for an endless period. The highest score I've seen is over 6500 ... my best is just 4881.

But, as I was talking to friends, I recalled this little Flash game that I'd cooked up on spec for someone with the domain "www.ikilledsantaclaus.com" ... that should give you a hint about the game. It's not bloodthirsty, really, it's just Whack A Mole ... except that it's Smackin Santa. Anyhow, I haven't bothered to put it on a nice webpage or anything because it's just a silly little game like a million others out there. One of these days I need to go back into the code and see about making it a little more fancy. Enjoy!

Posted by Red Monkey at 6:27 PM | Comments (6) | People Say I Have ADHD, But I Think - Hey Look, A Chicken | TrackBack | Stumble