May 8, 2010

Stillness

Click for a 1680x1050 desktop version.

Posted by Red Monkey at 12:36 PM | Comments (1) | Vacations and Photos | Stumble

May 6, 2010

Why Hello!

So I wanted to go on photo safari yesterday, but the weather was not particular accommodating. Since the park I enjoy is on a lake with some rather placid/stagnant areas, I waited until the day after the rains to go. Just driving into the park ... all the green ... the birds ... was so relaxing. The hike was one of the worst I've had out there because there were times when I was walking through clouds of gnat-things so thick I could barely keep my eyes opened. I almost turned back from the bugs, but I soldiered on.

I took a relatively small number of pictures, but managed some really nice compositions. I headed back to the park entrance earlier than I wanted, but it was starting to get late ... and then the park gifted me with this little guy:

He posed for quite a while for me - longer than I expected and he even let me change locations once. Cheeky bugger had to "hide" his face behind that vine, though.

Posted by Red Monkey at 8:40 PM | Comments (5) | Vacations and Photos | Stumble

June 11, 2009

Little Guy

Nope, still no name yet, but the only reason there wasn't a post yesterday is I wasn't home to write one! I picked up other half at 4:30 and we drove down to the breeder to pick him up. I managed to drive over a large-ish curb-thing because other half insisted we stop for Arby's. I thought for sure the car was damaged, but apparently lucked out. Sounded bad, though, and of course that was only about half way through the trip.

I was exhausted by the time we finally got there - took about an hour and a half to get there after a particularly long and brutal day, so puppy-therapy was just what I needed.

He had his vet visit today and checked out just fine. He's a li'l crybaby when he thinks he's alone, but he and Scraps are playing and having a grand time. Our female doxie, as we suspected, really doesn't have ANY maternal instinct other than to worry if he cries. Otherwise, she's actually scared of him.

I'm sure more pictures and perhaps some video will follow in the weeks to come.

Meanwhile, I still have to finish yesterday's post about Star Wars books .... :)

Posted by Red Monkey at 6:38 PM | Comments (5) | Vacations and Photos | Stumble

July 2, 2008

Dzilth-na-o-dith-hle

Just a camera-phone pic ... click to bigify.

Posted by Red Monkey at 8:59 PM | Comments (0) | Vacations and Photos | Stumble

April 18, 2008

Balance and Loss

It is one of those days when nothing can go right, which is certainly not what I expected after my centering and balancing hike yesterday. Generally speaking, one hike out at a place like Potato Creek can ground me for weeks.

Growing up in Texas, you'd think that I was an outdoor kid. The reality isn't quite like that. My mother was very scared of anything involving the outdoors - animals, insects, reptiles, dirt ... and we generally lived in the 'burbs, not out on a ranch. There was a tension between us most of my childhood, because I did want to be the rancher kid (or thought I did) and Mom thought staying in the house was the safest course of action.

When we lived in Austin, I was at my most free. Our house was on the edge of Balcones Woods and a large quarry. If we went out the front door? We were in the 'burbs. If we went out the backdoor? We were in the woods.

Despite my mother's best efforts to instill fear of all the dangerous outside things - I learned to love nature whilst we lived in Austin, more than any other place I ever lived. I welcomed thunderstorms (even when they made me nervous) - I loved to watch as the winds whipped the leaves around on the trees turning the deep greens into something nearly white. I loved the drive into town when we passed through areas where the road had been dynamited out of granite. I adored looking at the layers and layers in the rock, the plants trying to cling to the sides. My favourite places and times were when we went out to "Bear Creek" park. (I've since tried to find that park but apparently my recollection of the name is not correct.) The mix of woods and creek and old-fashioned "swimmin' hole" simply called to me and relaxed me in a way nothing else could.

I suppose, for me, it was the relief of not having to pay attention to tone of voice or body language - or whether dad's eyes were bloodshot yet or not. I remained aware of my surroundings - there were still rattlers and cottonmouths and even loose rocks whilst climbing - plenty of stuff to cause damage. But I seemed to have an instinctual grasp of my surroundings when I was outside and it relaxed me in a way that being around people never did. The wind through the leaves and branches and underbrush ... the crickets ... the frogs ... the cicada song ... the water burbling through the narrow, shallow creek, gradually deepening and quieting as it got deeper and wider ....

The tensions would just fade away and I could feel my core self, my true self, come to the forefront and simply be. It was easy to shed the outer self which had to deal with all of the demands made on a small child throughout the day - that kid who tried to do everything exactly perfect for every adult.

Today, every time I feel overly stressed ... when life is simply getting to me and I find it more and more difficult to find balance on my own ... I retreat, preferably to a place which includes both woods and water - and is out of sight of the "modern world." When I worked at Notre Dame, I would simply go to one of the small lakes on the north end of campus and walk the circular path, eventually coming to a resting spot just barely south of the "beach." No matter how crazy things got, this always centered me.

After I left ND, that spot was no longer very relaxing for me and I had to find a new spot and Potato Creek State Park, with the long, meandering trails along Lake Worster was just the thing.

So after a few weeks of not getting any job interviews for any of my queries, and seeing very few (very very very few) jobs for which I'm qualified appear on any of the dozen or so job boards I haunt ... I needed a time to center.

The walk did me a world of good. It was good exercise and I could feel all the tension and worry beginning to melt away as I listened to the sounds of world around me. I "hunted" the frogs, hoping for a good photo op. I sat down on a boulder and watched one of the feeder creeks meandering along under a bridge. I had to marvel at the little bird who seemed as curious about me as I was of him ... hopping along in the underbrush, one eye cocked at me, and keeping pace with me. There was the swan who just knew I was taking pictures and he kept trying to pose so I'd snap - and then he'd move to try to keep me from getting the "classic" swan photo.

The crunch of the gravel is one thing that has mostly annoyed me about the park, but there were patches of hay and grass as well.

The wind, the water, the birds, frogs ... it all helped relax and center me.

And then this morning, after my other half left for work, I did nothing but dream about realistic catastrophe after realistic catastrophe.

It began with dreaming that our chimney - which has some issues up at its top where some critters have ripped at the masonry - I dreamed that the chimney finally fell to the ground, wreaking all sorts of havoc with the house in general. Chances are, this is whilst I was dozing in the living room - near the fireplace - and about the time of the earthquake which shook much of the midwest this morning.

The rest of my ill-fated "nap" this morning (from about 5 a.m. until about 8 - my other half leaves for work at 4:30 a.m.), was horrific. I have several types of bad dreams - semi-realistic ones in which things seem real even upon awakening, but which follow "dream-logic." These dreams usually involve real people and situations, but not necessarily people who look like what they actually look like and the places are generally different in some way. Other nightmares involve things from my childhood.

But the nightmares this morning were the worst of the lot. They were the kind that could be real. The people look and act exactly as they do in real life. The places look exactly as they do in real life. And, the scenarios are all too real fears rather than exaggerations or metaphors.

I won't bore you with a list of what those dreams were, only that they destroyed all of the balance I had so carefully nurtured yesterday. And I'm left with just one thought: I need a job. Badly. I'm a hard worker; I do what is asked of me and I ask for more. I'm detail-oriented and focused. I have no ego when it comes to work - I'm not the boss or creative director ... I'm a very happy worker, producing my product whether it's graphics (my favourite) or copy ... or reports or whatever is required of me.

I just beg ... do not make me go back to retail work. Not only is the pay abysmal, it is without a doubt not within my realm of talents - so much so to the point where working retail is honestly more depressing than not working at all. At least now I can freelance.

Something has to give soon.

It just has to.

Posted by Red Monkey at 4:28 PM | Comments (3) | Struggles | Vacations and Photos | Stumble

April 17, 2008

Jeremiah Was A ...

The weather is finally turning warmer and I decided that I needed a time-out day, so I made a trip out to Potato Creek State Park and hit the hiking trails. Normally, I hit the advanced rugged trails and since I never remember to bring a map (and the trails are not marked well at most of the crossings), I never know precisely how far I've gone (nor exactly where, for that matter). I know today I left the car at about 10 of 1 and didn't return until after 3:30, but I was a little rushed today as I got a late start and needed to be home by the time the other half returned from work. I think I beat her home by about 15 minutes - just long enough to have showered and done the dishes. Phew!

Normally, my only "prep" for a hike is to grab good sneakers, a coke for the road and probably my camera and cell (not that I answer any calls out there - it's turned to silent - it's just for emergency). Once in a while, a sketch book. Today was a rare occasion in that I actually brought along my iPod. I prefer the sounds that naturally occur out there, but today I wanted to hear both that and a new playlist - Sick Puppies and Snow Patrol mixed together. I did turn the iPod down quite low and only put one earbud in.

In two and a half hours I managed to take some 138 pictures, of which only 9 had to be deleted. Not bad considering the wind seemed to pick up every time I tried for a close shot - and the swan and the turtles would NOT stay very still. Buggers.

The frogs were out in abundance today, croaking and calling to each other. It was a glorious soundtrack and managed to blend in with my music in the way I had suspected it would. However, the little buggers were incredibly shy. No matter how quiet I tried to be, how slow and cautious, inevitably, I would hear the splash as they hid in the marsh waters before I ever saw them.

With one exception (click for a bigger shot):

This guy didn't seem to mind having his picture taken at all! Of course, he's not exactly a bullfrog, but still.

I was about half way through the rugged advanced course when I realized it was time to head back, so I missed Vargo Hill and Steamboat Hill both. I'll have to go back next week and remember to leave earlier in the day as these are two of my favourite spots.

On the way back I met a woman walking her dog who asked if I'd had much luck with pictures today. I replied that I had and so I thought - until she told me she came through last week and there was a freaking bald eagle perched on the trees in the water near where we stood.

I'm not THAT lucky! I did see plenty of hawks circling and teasing me in the air, but I knew I'd never get the tripod and camera set in time to capture one. I stink at the patience required for really good wildlife photography.

A few minutes after I passed the woman who'd seen the bald eagle, some little bird decided we were buddies. He, or she, hopped along in the underbrush, keeping time with me. I grinned and watched ... and finally set up the tripod and attempted a few shots. Of course, this sent the bird further into the brush, so these are the best shots I have of it:

All in all a good day and a time of connection and reflection that was very much needed. I regret that it was cut so short ... but I bet I go back there next week, weather willing.

Posted by Red Monkey at 5:20 PM | Comments (3) | Vacations and Photos | Stumble