I'll admit it, I wasn't prepared. I felt just fine. Everything seemed to be going incredibly well.

However, the PET scan showed "hot spots." A PET scan only looks for activity, which usually indicates some type of infection. It can't really tell what the problem actually is. If the spot I was complaining about was just scar tissue, it would come up cold.

There were several "hot spots."

I had a lesion on/in two vertebrae in my lower back (L3 and L5), which I assume was causing my mild back aches. There was something on the spleen and a few other spots as well. In fact, it looked like there was an enlarged lymph node in the groin area that had gotten so painful.

My doctor was not happy. He did a physical exam and still couldn't actually feel that lymph node. If it hadn't been for the PET scan, we wouldn't have caught it so early. However, he needed to send me in for another CAT scan to make sure that this wasn't just some random hot spots. Off to the hospital again for another boring test. At least I didn't have to sit still for nearly as long this time!

Now there was another week before the scan took place and then almost another week before I got the results back. Meanwhile, I was telling everyone that the first test was inconclusive and that more tests were needed. Really, I was more than a little stunned. I'd thought it was over.

The CAT scan revealed enlarged lymph nodes in several spots -- enough so that I have to have another bone marrow test next week (February 27) and then a biopsy on March 7. After the bone marrow test (which will hopefully say that there's no Hodgkin's in the marrow) and the biopsy, then I'll start chemo again.

This time I'll go in every three weeks, but I think I go in for three days in a row. After at least six weeks of this (so, two rounds of treatment), they'll run another scan to make sure that the chemo is working. If it is, I "get" to go to Indiana University-Bloomington's hospital for four weeks and a bone marrow transplant/stem cell rescue. Four weeks in the hospital! I'm going to be SO bored.

But,what's even scarier to me is that while working on this website I realized that even with insurance, my hospital stay is likely to be at least $28,000. That's still more than I make in a year. And that's not counting the chemo I'll have to take before that, the lab tests, the PET scan and CT scans that I've already had.

My car is dying. I haven't driven it in weeks, probably a month. (Cars aren't supposed to make a big, metallic, THUNK every time you turn, right? I mean, a huge thunk out of the front passenger wheel well sounds more like the tire's about to crack off the car!) Now I'll have to save my money to pay all of these medical bills instead of getting another car. I have no idea how I'll physically get myself to Bloomington, IN, for the bone marrow treatments. I'm sure I can catch a ride with a friend, but still. Shoot, I thought now that I was out of debt I'd be getting a newer used car soon. I thought I'd be able to save to get a house in a few more years. Now it will be years and year before I'm out of debt at all and can even think about those things again.

It's depressing. When I should only be thinking about getting better, I have to worry about paying all of these bills. Now, don't get me wrong. I had to declare bankruptcy when I did or I would be sued for all of those other bills that I couldn't pay from the first diagnosis in 1999.

Finances >