September 28, 2005

If there's one season I hate, it's fall. Even with as much as I hate being cooped up inside during the winter, even with as much as I hate the cold -- especially now that I'm living in Indiana.

As the weather starts to cool off and that nip hits the morning air as I walk out to my car, I can feel the impending doom of winter building. And that feeling of the impending winter, fighting with the snow and cold and nasty, short grey days, just sucks all the life out of me.

It doesn't help that my allergies will kick into overdrive in the fall and just makes the whole thing even worse.

I used to be able to circumvent this a bit when I was teaching. After all, the semester would only be about five weeks old at this point in the year. I'd have finally solidly learned all my students names (I stink at names and faces -- I'm a names and personalities kind of person). The first paper would be turned in and I'd be so distracted by trying to get those graded within 2-3 days, that I'd be able to ignore the need for a light jacket and trudge on to classes, loaded down with folders of papers and responses.

Yeah, I guess I'm a little melancholy today. It's been in the 40s and 50s when I leave for work in the morning. I still haven't been able to make myself grab a jacket as I walk out the door, though. And then I get to my pointless job and wonder ... if I was still teaching, where would we be in the semester? What would we be doing in class today? How are the "kids" who would have been "mine" doing? Are they getting the lessons? Is their writing improving? Are they having fun (or at least as much fun as they can have in a freshman writing class)?

When I packed up my office, I didn't really go through most of my papers. I packed them into boxes and took them straight up into the attic. It was just too painful to try to go through all of that and admit that that part of my life was over - at least for a while. But I keep hearing our mutant chipmunk up in the attic, scurrying around like he does. Is he going through my papers for me, shredding them up for a nest amongst the insulation?
I'm afraid to go up there and find out.

I still can't face those boxes of papers. It's been about a year and a half since I taught a class.

I really hate fall now. Almost as much as the kids who're simply sad that summer is gone and school is beginning again.

Posted by Red Monkey at September 28, 2005 11:07 AM | Storytelling: She was, of course, supposed to be sleeping. | | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble |

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