November 8, 2005

So, I've discovered the best cell phone rules ever. Check out ParaTed2k's blog, to see what I'm talking about.

Meanwhile, I thought I would post a re-enactment of one of the best overheard cell phone conversations.

If you remember, a while back I had a cat who stopped shedding her claws. As we were in the waiting room to the vet's office, the cell phone of the girl behind us went off.

She yakked away as if she were at home, not in public. I was trying not to listen but that's a little impossible when she's practically shouting into the phone and laughing hysterically. She finally ends that call and immediately calls another friend.

This is that phone call.

"Hey John, this is your favourite Christian friend. I'm just calling because we have an extra ticket to the Christian concert on Tuesday, do ya wanna come along? We're going to meet at Larry's house and then all drive over to the concert in one car because it's at the fairgrounds and the parking's really expensive, but I think we're going to park waaaaaaaaay down the road and just walk to the concert because we won't have any money for t-shirts and CDs if we actually pay for the parking so if you want you can come with us."

At this point she takes a breath. Not enough of one to really make up for the oxygen deprivation she must have felt as she spat out that last run-on sentence, but enough to get her going again.

"Anyhow, I meant to tell you I met that girl at the coffee house last night and we went out and got to talking and we stayed out together all night I mean, I haven't hardly even been home yet, but I just picked up Bonsey here for his vet appointment and came straight over here and I think I'm in love with this girl, I mean, we didn't do anything last night or anything but she's just wonderful and I think this will probably solve that question for me but Larry's really worried about me and wants to have a long talk with me about this, but I think he's just being old-fashioned because you know ...."

Now, now she finally lowers her voice a little, but of course by this time the entire waiting room is listening avidly to this child's run-on sentences.

And now, she's about to impart wisdom. We can all feel it.

"I think he's just being old-fashioned because you know ... you know Jesus never said anything about the gays." She laughs. "Okay, I gotta go. Jesus loves you." She hangs up.

And the sad thing is, I really hope this was a message left for John's answering machine because if not, she never did let the poor guy get a word into that conversation.

Okay, I gotta go. Jesus loves you.

(What a way to end a conversation! Sheesh!)

Posted by Red Monkey at November 8, 2005 5:23 AM | Never Underestimate the Power of Human Stupidity | | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble |


angie said:

That is funny! I love your ending. :) I can't stand to hear conversations on cell phones all around me. I just want to shake them and tell them to go outside...or grab their cell phone and THROW it outside so they have to go fetch. ;)

November 8, 2005 7:11 AM


Andy Ternay said:

Well, he does. Even this Wiccan knows that! Hope she's having a good life wherever she is and, yep, Jesus loves her. Not carnally, I don't mean. More of a brotherly type love without the mean teasing.

BTW: Texas passed proposition 2 by a massive margin. It is awful.

November 9, 2005 6:29 AM


�madbull said:

gee... i also want an answering machine that records such a long calls...

'miss... sorry... soRRY
SORry... YEAH, yeahyeah... OK i will record you and am now gonna cook my potatoes. Thank you for your call [recordstarts]

November 9, 2005 4:31 PM
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