October 17, 2006

People frighten me.

On a typical day, I can expect to see that most people who used a search engine to get here to the Red Monkey were actually searching for "Red Monkey Jeans." I've also seen these variations:

  • monkey mowing
  • monkey logos
  • little red monkey tshirt
  • monkey scary stories
  • red monkey design
  • who made red monkey jeans
  • red monkey t-shirts

Okay, okay. I thought my little red monkey was simply a symbol of my ADHD, but apparently I should have clad him in jeans from the beginning. I get that now.

Also, in my larger website, I have a section, badly in need of a re-design, which features the park Caelum Moor by Norm Hines and which was funded by the Jane Mathes Kelton foundation. So I get a fair number of hits for those key words. Those are the things I'm used to seeing.

I've also gotten some freaking BIZARRE hits from search engines as well. One has something to do with "schoolgirl dirty socks keds," I believe. He didn't stick around long and I don't WANT to know what he was actually looking for.

But I got one today that just took the cake ... which has now spawned this top ten list of crazy or just odd search terms used to hit my site:

  • number 10 ... skateboard helmets are geeky (yes, yes they are ... unfortunately my other half insists that I use one ... dammit)
  • number 9 ... symptoms sprained broken finger (I don't think I've ever talked about this)
  • number 8 ... claw growing in paw (we had this happen to one of the cats - she stopped shedding claws and it just kept growing in a curve ... nasty)
  • number 7 ... help for my third grader wont behave in class (well don't use ME for an example!)
  • number 6 ... talequah oklahoma gay locations (my grandparents lived there for quite a while ... that is one tiny, rural area ... my guess: not a lot of gay hotspots there)
  • number 5 ... skateboard wheels sidewalks cracks (if you board much, you know those damn things are deadly ... particularly if you're old like me and still own a board with metal or clay wheels ... OW)
  • number 4 ... adhd gorilla (WTF?)
  • number 3 ... how to make a pillow deadfall trap (does this dude want to CATCH his pillow? has it been escaping him every night?)
  • number 2 ... miniature railroad spikes on banjos (normal people canNOT make this stuff up ... I don't have the slightest clue where to begin with that)
  • and ... the number 1 most BIZARRE search term came today ... I am still completely and totally confused and blow away by this: "If a mexican and a white person marry how will there [sic] child look"

People frighten me. A lot.

I can't count the number of things in that last one that disturb me ... not the least of which is that it landed them on a page where I did kind of sort of talk about that.

Oh, for more frightening things ... check this out from Rain on my Tirade (again! she is cracking me up).

Posted by Red Monkey at October 17, 2006 5:11 PM | Never Underestimate the Power of Human Stupidity | | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble |


omninaif said:

Got here by typing in Red Monkey Poo Slinking. Those serach engines rock!

Red Monkey said: DUDE! that was the fastest freaking comment I've ever seen. I *just* posted this and was cleaning out the junk/spam comments and whoa ... here's a real comment already added!
October 17, 2006 5:39 PM

You may have all (or many) of those words on a page on the day the spider runs across your blog; that causes the "false drop" to here. Remember that the spider, depending on its programming, will index everything except frequently used words (mostly articles and pronouns: "I," "a," "an," "the," etc.); and, unless someone types in a phrase specifier as part of their search, the engine won't look for the words together. Enough words on a page will trigger a positive match, and there you are....

(Got here via another site that was on BlogExplosion)

Oh; often even just one word. Most search engines default to an "or" search -- if you have any of the words in the list of terms the searcher uses, you'll match. Explains some of the hits I've received in the past here... (grin).

Red Monkey said: Oh I know how the search engines work to get them here ... especially category pages which may have 50 posts on it ... I just have to wonder why they clicked through when the snippets (those engines which use snippets, anyway) clearly don't have anything at all to do with what they're looking for! ... Besides, I was mostly just poking fun, ya know?
October 18, 2006 10:00 AM


kelley said:

Haha...yes, people can be pretty frightening! Reading through the Google searches is always entertaining. I got several Google hits immediately after posting something that contained a reference to Justin Timberlake. Pretty hilarious.

October 18, 2006 11:04 AM
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