November 6, 2006

My mother does not have an milliliter of technological or mechanical sense whatsoever. I say this first, because I should probably be punished severely for making fun of this 60 year old woman, but hey, this was FUNNY, dammit.

So, Mom calls me Saturday and says, "I think I need to buy an iPod."

After picking the phone up off the floor and being grateful the battery didn't fall out of the thing, I answer, "Really? Why?" You have to understand ... my mother needs nothing. This is a woman who thinks that she shouldn't bother to fix her air conditioning because it's too much money ... and then she ignores the higher cooling bills, and complains about the higher temperatures in her house. And she lives in TEXAS, so it's not like the weather is just a little balmy.

"Well, there's this AM radio station I listen to and it has all my music on it. But they don't come in very well at work ... or at home ... and they're really tiny ... and I think they might go out of business. Because you know, all of their listeners are dying off." She makes this little laugh that I suppose is supposed to make me feel sorry for her. "You know, literally," she adds when I don't laugh back appreciatively.

She stops the conversation there. I am unsure how an iPod enters into things.

"So I need an iPod, right?"

"No, you need that radio station to stay on the air and get a bigger tower, I think."

"Well," she harumphs at me. "Since we know that's not going to happen, I need an iPod, right?"

"No, what you need is iTunes or something, Mom."

Now there's a long discussion explaining internet radio stations to her. She's on dial-up and couldn't access those at work when she's on a big line. So I then explain purchasing MP3s and the like online, that she'll have to pay $1 a song for her music. She is horrified, but would never entertain the idea of LimeWire or the like.


The mind boggles. I thought a buck a song was reasonable. I want to make sure the artists' get something, for crying out loud.

I begin trying to explain how MP3 files work.

"So it's just like a little file on your computer? So it'll have a little icon like a Microsoft Word document? Won't it fill up my hard drive?"

"Yes, yes, yes. That's it."

"Well, I don't want to fill up my hard drive."

Apparently the music should just magically stream through her magic computer and equally magic iPod.

I finally get everything explained to her and she decides she needs a CD burner, but she's concerned about the overwhelming price of blank CDs. emoticons/huh.gif

I am almost out of the dark and scary woods that represent this conversation. I have so far managed to not lose her to the dank murk of the woods for more than a minute or two at a time. I have even guided her through a brief discussion of MP3 vs. AIFF encoding methods.

Then, sadly, I open my mouth one too many times after she says it's a shame because she has all these old records and no record player. "Oh," I tell her, "I've got a USB record player ... it hooks directly into my computer and I can record all my old vinyl and turn them into CDs."

After ten minutes of "REALLY?" at the top of her lungs, she is now bringing all of her old records to Christmas this year and I'll be spending January, February and most of March burning CDs for her.

How did I know that her asking me about an iPod was going to be more work for me???

Posted by Red Monkey at November 6, 2006 10:29 AM | Never Underestimate the Power of Human Stupidity | | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble |


Red said:

(((ender))) been there.
this is funny! thank you for the laugh. hang in there

November 6, 2006 11:10 AM


Smash said:

LOL The way to win that conversation would have simply been to say: "What's an iPod?" Heh.

November 6, 2006 11:26 AM


Allison said:

Reminds me of a IM conversation I had with a friend the other day. Note: she is computer dumb - can play on Pogo and check her banking account. Anytime something happens to her computer she contacts me.

Her: Think I am going to buy Brit (step-daughter) an iPod for her b-day
Me: Oh great something else to hook up to your computer
Her: What do you mean
Me: You need to attach and download songs
Her: Really?
Me: Yes really
Me: How did you think the songs got on the iPod?
Her: I don't know thought from the radio

Me: starts hitting head against desk....

November 6, 2006 6:40 PM


Kris said:

I thought that was very cute... $1 a song is highway robbery (just kidding)


November 7, 2006 9:51 AM


Charles said:

You played right into her hands. Maybe she's not as tech-dumb as you think she is

November 8, 2006 7:30 AM


Charles said:

BlogMad hit.

November 9, 2006 7:54 AM


Joy said:

Oh dear. And I thought trying to convince my mom that Firefox is better than IE was frustrating.

November 9, 2006 2:49 PM


Kelley said:

Haha...I'm not sure that my mother even knows what an iPod is!

*sigh* I'm the one that needs an iPod! I'm afraid my generation will disown me if I don't get one soon.

November 10, 2006 11:20 AM


Pinoy Stupid said:

Haha your mom is hilarious! Of course you don't think she is because she's your mom. No ever does.

I feel sorry about your 3-month vinyl-burning endeavor though.

November 12, 2006 11:00 AM
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