Sometimes, People Suck
May 4, 2007

I hardly know what to say ... there are simply days when I am frustrated by humanity ... by circumstance ... by life in general.

Suffice it to say that I have been planning on adopting since I was ... ooooohhhhh, about seven years old. People kept telling me, when you get older, you'll change your mind. They were wrong. I never did.

I'm 38 now. I'm beginning to think that my dream of adopting a pair of siblings ... roughly 2 and 4 or 5 ... is not going to happen. I'll be nearing 60 when a 2 year old graduates high school ... and I've not only had cancer ... I had to have a bone marrow transplant ... who knows what that has done to my life expectancy ... perhaps nothing ... perhaps shaved 10 or more years off. I don't know.

But there's this kid I know. He's a great guy. Smart as hell. Hurting, I think. And he reminds me a hell of a lot of me at that age. He's no angel, and I have no delusions about that. But I want to help.

Hopefully, starting next week, I'll get that chance.

But for now ... for now, I'm a bit mad at the world. For all of the kids who've been forced into situations which are less than ideal. For all of the kids who are hurting. For all of us who were once hurting kids ... and are now grown.

For the survivors who went through the unthinkable and still survived.

A friend IM'd me today ... and as we were talking, she responded to my "It's not fair" with this:
"A fair is a place with rides and cotton candy and corn dogs."


But dammit, I hate that things can be so incredibly unfair to so many.

There's no point to this post. Sorry to subject you to it ... just something I had to ramble publicly about, I suppose.

Meanwhile, keep me and my buddy, "Jeff," in your thoughts. He needs things to be a little more fair than they have been. I'd like to see him off the insane ride and on something more fun. I'd like to see him get some of the cotton candy and corn dogs and even some of the prizes he wants from the games that always seem so rigged. He deserves a little fun. And respect.

And some peace.

Posted by Red Monkey at May 4, 2007 4:01 AM | Struggles | | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble |


Tisha said:

I sure hope it happens for the both of you and sounds like you would be such a loving parent :)

May 4, 2007 12:03 PM


MsDemmie said:

I so hope it works out - thinking of you and your buddy together ....

May 4, 2007 4:56 PM

You're "good" people endy! If nothing else I could volunteer some hours to be your child....I've mastered the immaturity for that.

May 4, 2007 11:36 PM
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