It IS Clean
April 14, 2008

I have the pockets of a small child. There is always something in my pockets. Bits of this and that, change, dollars, notes, my wallet ... and my cell phone is usually in the side pocket. Yes, I wear those kinds of jeans.

Our house is trashed right now. I know, you are not getting the transition between these two paragraphs. Bear with me. I have made an incredible four day effort the kitchen is now clean. Not just things are off the floor, clean. I'm talking I washed out the fridge and freezer and cleaned the scary melted cherry candy off the top of the stove. I mean to tell you that I wiped down ALL the 24" square inches of counter which had been buried in this that and the other. I mean I cleaned out the scariest looking microwave the world has ever seen. (Okay, it wasn't that scary cuz I once had a neighbor whose microwave was infested and I mean INFESTED with roaches. Yeah. Gross. I know. I'll wait a minute for you to quit turning green. Ya better? Okay. Our microwave wasn't that bad, I swear.) I got down on my hands and knees with the antibacterial Windex and a sponge and cleaned the floor. I scrubbed the cabinet doors and then used lemon oil on them. The kitchen is now blindingly clean.

Yes, I am too keeping it clean since then.

Anyhow, today I began tackling dining room. Now, this room isn't quite so bad. I started tackling the living room about a year ago and began putting things into big-ass Rubbermaid containers in an attempt to control the clutter.

Oh wait, I wasn't gonna tell you about everything I'm cleaning. My bad.

The POINT in telling you about cleaning the kitchen is to let you know that I have embarked on a mission to clean up the this damn house. In an effort to do her part, the other half has decided to get caught up on all of the laundry. See, the dishes are my chore and the other half does laundry.

So, I wore my new jeans out the other day. First time I'd worn them. Had them on just a couple of hours. Which to me, being the dork that I am, means they are still fair game for wearing. So I put them on my stack of "not-clean-enough-for-the-closet, but-not-ready-for-the-hamper" clothes.

And the other half scooped them up Sunday. Emptied out the front pockets.

Snagged my wallet. Presented me with my wallet like she had managed a coup - as if I had forgotten it in my pants. No, not at all forgotten. That's where my wallet GOES. In my jeans. Until it's time to wash them, and then it sits on my drawing table until I put on another pair of jeans at which point, the wallet goes in the back pocket again.

She washes the load.

Kinda noisy.

Goes down to the basement and switches the clothes to the drier. VERY noisy. She pulls it open to check. Nope, nothing in there but clothes. Must be the zipper of her Carhart, she opines.

We listen to the thud for 45 minutes or so. (I dunno, I didn't time it. But it went on fer freaking ever)

The result? A very sorry other half. A very very very pissed off me.

Yeah.

It's clean, sure.

But so is the SIM card. All my photos, notes, appointments, phone numbers ... they're all gone.

And I'm phoneless until she gets home from work and goes to the store to get me another one. Cuz the phone thing is in her name, so I can't do it.

I keep trying to tell her to let ME clean any electronics from now on.

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

Posted by Red Monkey at April 14, 2008 3:10 PM | | | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble |

 

Momo Fali said:

Ruh roh. Not good. Knock on wood, but I've been pretty lucky with this sort of thing. Now I've probably gone and jinxed myself. Dammit.

April 14, 2008 3:42 PM

 

Dawn said:

ooh...see that's precisely why I don't want to get too hooked on my cell, why I hardly even know how to use the thing

not that my other half would do the laundry ;)

but then there was the time (2, actually) my son started ripping the keys off my laptop...

April 14, 2008 8:29 PM

 

Maria said:

Ugh, that sucks. :(

And I hate cleaning...

April 16, 2008 8:13 AM

 

Joe said:

Yuck! Sounds so annoyingly painful. I had dropped my phone in a snow drift a few years back and couldn't find it until the spring...it actually held all the data somehow.

April 16, 2008 10:07 AM
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