Funny Thing Happened ...
May 23, 2008

So. Umm. Yeah.

I have a confession to make. Confession is supposed to be good for the soul and, to be honest, I tarnished mine this week.

Nectar of the GodsI am addicted to Diet Vanilla Pepsi. And, as I wrote last year around this time, it's become difficult to find again. Dammit.

I have spent the last two weeks NOT drinking it because I couldn't find it. Zilch, zero, nada, goose egg. Diet Vanilla Coke is ucky, although I buy it on occasion when I cannot find my sweet nectar. I have spent the last two weeks doing Diet Mountain Dew. Meh.

So, whilst at the grocery store this week, once again NO nectar of the gods. Try another store. Nope. And then, then, I tarnished my soul. I couldn't stand it anymore.

I went to EvilMart. (Also called WalMart.)

I know, I know. I am going to hell for this. But just wait. It gets even worse.

I go in, grab a cart and put four 12-packs in my cart. I'd take ALL that they had, but I can't quite reach the fifth pack that is way in the back and I don't feel like rummaging through the store for a broom or a mop just to fish it out. (Yes, by the way, I have done that before. I told you, I'm addicted to the stuff!)

On a whim, I decide that I should just make a quick dash through electronics to see if they have the thing I have been obsessing about for the last week and a half. At least in this area, this item is still in high demand and most stores almost never have them on the shelves.

I stood in electronics at the lock-up in complete and utter disbelief. It is sitting there. Several of them. In their compact and clean little white boxes.

Yeah. I know. I'm going to hell.

I used nearly half of my stimulus check to do what I said I was not going to do - I stimulated the economy. At EvilMart no less!

But I got a Wii!!! WOOHOO!!! A Nintendo Wii all for me! And I kick arse at tennis -

I mean. Umm.

Oh my blogging peeps, I am most heartily sorry for having offended even myself. I detest all my sinful EvilMart shopping, because of the unfair business practices, but most of all because EvilMart offends thee, my most valued readers, who are all good and deserving of better things. I firmly resolve with the help of thy grace to shop at EvilMart no more, to do two hours of Wii daily penance and to amend my buying practices (and buy the Wii Fit somewhere else). Amen.

(Am I going to hell for spending money I shouldn't? Or for shopping at EvilMart? Or for re-writing the Act of Contrition? Yeah, that's what I thought. For all three. Crap.)

Posted by Red Monkey at May 23, 2008 5:48 AM | People Say I Have ADHD, But I Think - Hey Look, A Chicken | | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble |


Claire said:

I am thoroughly ashamed of you :(

May 23, 2008 6:19 AM


dan leone said:

Well then I will be joining you in hell for "coveting thy neighbor's Wii."

May 23, 2008 6:43 AM


Bad Momma said:

Don't feel so bad, we all do things we swear we will never do. This is why I don't make New Year's resolutions or say I will never do something. Walmart wouldn't be so big if lots of people didn't shop there. A one time shopping spree doesn't make or break a conglomerate like that.

As for the Wii, we are one of the few families not permitted to own one. My husband won't allow one in the house; thinks they are addictive. My sister bought one at Christmas for my boys but they don't know this. I was told if it appeared at our house we would have 3 very sad boys.

Red Monkey said: Well, I avoided the Wii as I thought it sounded lame at first. I'm not big on video games, but I do enjoy them now and again. As with anything else, they certainly *can* be addictive. I respect your husband's thoughts on this a lot.
What I find interesting about the Wii is that it does actually increase activity levels. You can't really just sit there and play Wii Tennis, you have to get up, make sure you have plenty of room around you and you actually have to smack the ball, not just push a button. Naturally, it would be far better to go to a real tennis court and play tennis for real ... but that's not an option for everyone.
I think that when something like the Wii comes in handy is for those folks who live in an area where they just can't get out and about. For example, I read an academic article years ago talking about how children's spaces have shrunk so much between the 1950s and now. In the 50s, it wasn't unusual for the kids to be out of the house and all over the empty fields or woods or creeks or just empty spaces - and not too unusual for them to be gone from practically dawn to dusk during the summer. They had HUGE territories to roam and explore and learn in. (And, of course, to do all sorts of things their parents would have been horrified by.) Today, in the U.S., depending on where they live, kids have a much smaller stomping ground. Some of them wind up having to let themselves in the apartment after school and stay put until the parents come home as it's just too dangerous to let the kids wander the city (whatever city or neighborhood) alone. In *those* cases, I think the Wii is particularly valuable as it gives kids both a larger space to explore (which they need) and it also gives them some activity that such a confined life might not otherwise give.
All of that said, I don't think any video game system can or should replace real life activity. It's more an additional tool that *can* be used in some circumstances to augment activity.
May 23, 2008 7:59 AM


Trish said:

Ah, how sad....I had a similar addiction (that I'm surprised to hear you call 'ucky') to Vanilla Coke...which has long since disappeared from our area. I had to go cold was not pretty.
And now you've ignited the flames of Wii in my heart....I'd even go to Wally-world for it....but alas, we must the the very last people in the country to get our stimulus is conspicuous by its absence....but the 'want' is there....
Shame on you! Look what you've done! Instead of lifting you up, I've jumped right into the pit with you!

May 23, 2008 8:45 AM


Jackal said:


May 23, 2008 10:45 AM


PandoraWilde said:

Sometimes brushes with evil just can't be helped. I did drop part of my stimulus check at the Hel*Mouth as well, because otherwise I couldn't afford to both do the major restock we needed AND have fun with a small bit of the rest.

Say three Hail Marys, one rosary and donate your old used gaming console to one of us who are game-less.

May 23, 2008 1:08 PM


Dawn said:

OK. So I'm not with you on either the diet vanilla pepsi (hate any diet soda, no exceptions) or the wii (just haven't done the gamer thing...sorry) BUT I too have shopped at Evil-Mart. I don't have a choice, really. Meijer no longer carries the refills for the Dawn foamy dish detergent and I refuse to buy a new pump every time I run out, so Wal-mart's my only option, really. Not as sexy or satisfying as shopping there for a wii or diet soda, but foamy soap is a vice all its own...

May 23, 2008 4:33 PM


Red said:

*hangs head in shame* Endy is human! But Wal Mart is still evil! I love Wii can't say so much for diet vanilla pepsi. *ick*
Fun post, thank you for the smiles!

May 23, 2008 7:31 PM


Maria said:

That's how I'll be if they ever stop making Simply Lemonade. :)

May 23, 2008 10:51 PM


Sonyareads said:

I would be ashamed of you............ if I hadn't done the exact same thing last week. My 5 year old keeps kicking my butt in bowling. I can't figure out how he's doing it. My 6 year old knocked me down 4 times in the boxing game. My husband almost took out the ceiling fan playing tennis. I got up bright and early wednesday morning and went out and bought the wii fit. Now I can barely walk my legs are so sore, lmao. So far it's been worth the ingodly amount of money I have spent on all the extra stuff you can't live with out, right down to the "Transformer" controller covers:)

May 24, 2008 12:00 AM


LiteralDan said:

You're only going to Hell for the part where you shopped at Wal-Mart, but this is step 1 of your penance. I, too, am guilty of shopping at Wal-Mart, a lot, because I used to live in a town where they wiped out almost all other stores, so we didn't have too many other options :-(

I hated myself for every minute.

The Wii is awesome and I feel sorry for those kids who were deprived of theirs (in the comment above)! I don't fault you for buying one when you had the chance. I feel like I should flick you with holy water now, or something.

May 24, 2008 11:14 AM


P7 said:

I'm addicted to Pepsi Twist. Why do we have to stick with all this drinks. Do they put any magic dust into it. :)

May 24, 2008 11:53 AM
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