No Comparisons
November 20, 2009


We all have it at some time or another. But the funny thing about pain, whether it's mental, emotional, physical ... whatever ... it's not something you can compare.

I see people all the time saying things like how much something they're going through hurts and then they stop and say, "Oh but so-and-so has it worse." As if their pain is not as bad or important.

And the problem with this is there is no way to compare pain. You are feeling what you are feeling and it hurts. You are not feeling whatever the other person is feeling. You can be empathetic and imagine what it might be like, but you're not feeling the same thing.

We feel what we feel.

Don't compare your pain to someone else's and minimize your pain. If comparing gives you a new perspective, that's one thing. But don't negate what you're feeling just because you think someone else has it worse. You feel things differently due to the way you are built - genetics and environment. You might be sensitive to papercuts, but not realize you broke a toe for a couple of days.

The same with emotional pain - it's just not something you can compare.

Don't sell your pain short. You don't have to wallow in it, either, but don't minimize it. Learn from it instead.

Posted by Red Monkey at November 20, 2009 6:48 PM | Struggles | | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble |


Tara R. said:

I apologized to a friend the other day because I had dumped my problems on her during a time when she was faced with a very difficult situation. We both were in pain. I felt like I had tried to minimize her pain with mine. Her response was great, and I think we can help each other thru these tough times.

November 21, 2009 7:47 AM
Free Pixel Advertisement for your blog